Last year I posted on Facebook that I would start to believe in the God of Abraham if he were to take out Sheldon Adelson, both Koch brothers, and one of the Mercers (Robert or Rebekah) in 2018. I’d be especially impressed if he took out the Orange Buffoon, but that wasn’t even part of my request.

At first blush this might seem cruel, but it’s not actually a big ask. First of all (except for the Mercers) these people are old. I mean really old. Sheldon Adelson is 85 and the Koch brothers aren’t far behind. Okay, Rebekah Mercer would have been the exception to the rule, the proverbial frosting on the cake, but God is known for his miracles, is he not?

Second, God has taken out people for a lot less than what the Kochs, the Mercers, and Sheldon Adelson have done. He turned Lot’s wife — she isn’t even honored with a name in the Bible — into a pillar of salt just for looking back at the destruction of Sodom. He took out Er, the firstborn of Judah, for being “wicked in the sight of the Lord” (whatever that means). He took out all of the firstborn of Egypt for being, well, first born. He took out thousands upon thousands of Phillistines just for being Phillistines.

So this isn’t a big ask, if you really think about it. I mean, I know that God doesn’t really need to prove his existence to me, he’s proven it to billions of believers already. But if he did care, this would have been how to go about it. And it didn’t happen.