50 Home States Sarcastically Put Down

We don’t normally to funny here at the Skeptic’s blog, but to get the New Year started on a lighter note, we’re sending along a link to an article in which 50 Americans summarize their home state in one perfectly sarcastic sentence. Some of my favorites include:

  • Alabama: we maybe 49th in everything, but thank God for Mississippi.
  • California: where America’s dreamers settle for doing porn.
  • Connecticut: we’re kind of close to places you really want to be, like Boston and New York City.
  • Delaware: the first state, and that’s about it.
  • Georgia: without Atlanta, we’re Alabama.
  • Iowa: counting down the days until an election makes us relevant again.
  • Maryland: we’ve got the good kind of crabs!
  • Massachusetts: we hope you enjoy both of our seasons, winter and construction.
  • Michigan: where cars are both made and lived in.
  • Minnesota: 10,000 lakes and 10 billion mosquitoes.
  • Mississippi: #1 in people who can’t read this.
  • Nevada: the most fun you can have while squandering your life’s savings.
  • New Jersey: hope you like traffic, a**hole!
  • North Dakota: all of the weather of Canada without any of the health care.
  • Rhode Island: if we were any less significant, we’d be Delaware.
  • South Carolina: proudly flying the American flag, but only because federal laws says we have to.
  • Texas: heaven if you’re a high school quarterback; hell if you’re gay, black, an immigrant or a woman.

And so it goes. Those are 18 of the best 50 lines.

About a1skeptic

A disturbed citizen and skeptic. I should stop reading the newspaper. Or watching TV. I should turn off NPR and disconnect from the Internet. We’d all be better off.
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2 Responses to 50 Home States Sarcastically Put Down

  1. Jae says:

    Illinois: Where a politician’s term in office and prison sentence are roughly the same.
    This explains my political cynicism.

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