We don’t normally to funny here at the Skeptic’s blog, but to get the New Year started on a lighter note, we’re sending along a link to an article in which 50 Americans summarize their home state in one perfectly sarcastic sentence. Some of my favorites include:
- Alabama: we maybe 49th in everything, but thank God for Mississippi.
- California: where America’s dreamers settle for doing porn.
- Connecticut: we’re kind of close to places you really want to be, like Boston and New York City.
- Delaware: the first state, and that’s about it.
- Georgia: without Atlanta, we’re Alabama.
- Iowa: counting down the days until an election makes us relevant again.
- Maryland: we’ve got the good kind of crabs!
- Massachusetts: we hope you enjoy both of our seasons, winter and construction.
- Michigan: where cars are both made and lived in.
- Minnesota: 10,000 lakes and 10 billion mosquitoes.
- Mississippi: #1 in people who can’t read this.
- Nevada: the most fun you can have while squandering your life’s savings.
- New Jersey: hope you like traffic, a**hole!
- North Dakota: all of the weather of Canada without any of the health care.
- Rhode Island: if we were any less significant, we’d be Delaware.
- South Carolina: proudly flying the American flag, but only because federal laws says we have to.
- Texas: heaven if you’re a high school quarterback; hell if you’re gay, black, an immigrant or a woman.
And so it goes. Those are 18 of the best 50 lines.